rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
