i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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