areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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