just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
