And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
