She is in my trunk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
