butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
