if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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