My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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