Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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