Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
