dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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