I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
