So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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