the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize