u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
