i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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