Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
