She is in my trunk
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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