We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
