Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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