What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize