Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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