If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
