My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
