you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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