i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
