He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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