I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do vagina's smell?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize