ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
