She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
