i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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