So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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