I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
