Kiss
Puke
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
