You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
