Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
