i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
