Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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