Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
