That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
