Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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