..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
