When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
