these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she looked like the before picture.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
