whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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