Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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