pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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