i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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