I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
