I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
