16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he had hair everywhere except his balls
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
