I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
