It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
