yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
