your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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