did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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