I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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