Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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