Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
