How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
