This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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