D3 body, D1 cock
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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