Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
