I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize