I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
