my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
