Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
