I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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