ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
