I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
