Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize