My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
